A DreamYesterday I had a weird dream. Some girl checked in some hostel with me and used wrong data to sign up (?). Then just when the woman behind the counter told us about the consequences for using wrong data, if that's done, the girl suddenly dissapeared (...like desintagrating) and i start feeling unconfortably. over the street there was some strange sozial workstation or something. the girl was gone and I ran over the street, 'cause of the intension there happened something. I watched as I arrived and found blood running like streets in the space between the pannels on the ground. then I started to chew some metal chain because of nervosity. I can't remember what happened next, but when I woke up my shirt stick like glue on my back. My teeth hurt and the taste of metal remained about 2 hours in my mouth.In fact I wasn't bleeding, wich would explain the taste......So what the fuck is that shit about?
hopeless, senselessSometimes I'm just sitting there.Sitting there and thinking about life. My life, the life of the others...Do they don't mind what life's about? About finding sense of life, about connection of all things.They try to live life as given, or as seen on tv. 'Cause they think that's the way life's supposed to be. They don't mind this whole crap.Why is everything the way it is, and who made it what it is? Am I the only one thinking too much about things I can't change an the way they are?Then I remember this christian sentence:"Lord, give me the imperturbability to take things, I can't change, the way they are - and the wisdom to decide in a matter things I can helpSomehow I feel helpless......and I still believe that I can not be saved!That's it!